The Life

"Open Window"

2009-12-16T00:18:00.000-08:00

Everyone has his or her own someone who they love. This is of course a fact that everyone knows. In one-way or another, at one particular point in their life, they have this particular someone who they tend to remember how much they love that particular someone.

As the journey of life continues; we fall in love with someone, breaking up happens and this ‘event’ keeps going on and on. Yes… we do really love to the one who we are with. That’s not a denial. Years and years aged relationship with someone may lead to a good end and on the other side of the wall, it may not. I bet all of us had more than one relationship in our lifetime. Right? But one some ‘fairytale’ consequences, the one person who you’d know all your life… who’d you love all your life…. Who’d you be with as far as you can remember; he or she was and is still with you. Congrats to that, respect!!!

To most cases like most of us, we tend to have this one particular someone who we used to and still do love that someone a lot. It may start with varieties of story but it all goes the same way. This someone we love so much, but we could never tell him or her and either him or her is in a relationship or we are the one who is in a relationship. Yes… it may sound like you are cheating yourself, or cheating your partner, but! As mentioned above, you do love your partner so much. Right?

This someone, some may call it an eye-candy? Or cookie? or anything at all. It is basically someone who you really love but never get the chance to do it or at least say to that person OR? You were with that person for some time or a while. This someone is just too special for you. I dare to state here that this someone is the love of your life.

Not to say that you are doing nothing at all and just wait for that person. You live your life. You love and some particular someone that I talk with says that we still have the opportunity to meet someone else. That’s true, but I do believe there is someone in your life that you love… to put it in a poetic way, unconditional love. You can choose not to be with her/him but still love her/him as long as she/he is happy with someone he/she love.

BUT…

Supposedly, once or maybe twice of a lifetime coincidence, you and her or him just happen to be ‘not seeing anyone’. As people say it, the window has open, and you may want to take the chance. I would. I definitely would. Honestly, a ‘no’ answer would be just a petty lie. This goes to everyone.

“…It is a situation where you just have to be there when the apple falls from the tree. If you want to”

Getting There... Being There...

2009-11-22T23:46:00.000-08:00

Getting somewhere and being somewhere is a distinguish figure. Getting the one thing or person is one agenda and being with someone or having that particular thing is another. It may have a relation and sometimes it may not. This is how it goes. We are still uptight with stuff that we didn't realize that we have gone through much.

When one journey ends it doesn't necessarily ends, it's just the start of another journey...

Unnamed Angel

2009-11-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Gorgeous light-hazeled eyes... shown attitude when stared... light-black hair brownish when the light shines... nice medium sized dark pinkish lips... pinch-tempting cheek layered with joyful and lovely smile...

Simple attired... bashful attitude covered with laughter and talented fun... unnamed... unknown...

"Simple and Great"

The Rhythm

2009-10-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

When something in life is just hard to get or to handle. it all depends on us of how we deal with it to get it. We have to know how it flows on order for it not be broken. shattered rhythm ain't going to paste itself back to what is has been. it is like a rhythm that can't be known how to arranged.

a proper arrangement leads to a beautiful flow. This is how life should be. things that has happen, we arrange it nicely as so prevention can be done to the next rhythm of life. Happy times are to be kept and remembered and sad times are to be explore. not all the time we are happy and vice versa. to understand this rhythm, we have to go through it. then again, as we experience it and try to make a gorgeous symphony... just like the waves of the sea flows to the shores. High and low waves bounces un-accordingly, then again, close your eyes and you can hear the sounds that the waves makes... a sound of nature telling you life is beautiful depite the ups and downs. what is important... the final symphony leads to a smiling heart.

"...it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away..."

Who are we here in the World.

2009-09-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

sometime we wonder what the things we have done and the things we will do are happening for a reason are things do really relate to each other. or the things we do now affects the things we going to do in the next or near future. what urges us to do things. sometimes we wonder this stuff as we call it, and it ends with a rhythm of subtle. a nice smooth endless river smoldering to rocks and fishes, but ended eventually with a twisted mellow.

"a short gesture with endless thoughts" - Megat Reeve

Rationality? or just purely dumb...

2009-09-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

First of all, yes, it has been a while... well... all i can say Life has it's story line...

Never regret the things we do. thats a positive thinking that may bring something good to our self. as we learn and we improve. then again rationality comes in the picture. you know your mistakes and you know it is a bad thing to do. but we tend to close our eyes and pursue it. hahaa... then guess what happen? we think of the things we had just done. and i bet most of the times... Regret doing it... you are damn in denial if your answer is no... it may seem nice, adorable, sweet and tender. what lies within is yet to be explosed...

its went we like someone, for example. i just give this example as it is rather more simpler to understand. hopefully... :) as i was saying, its went we like someone... what rational thinking is there? or just act dumb and pursue... Consideration such as, does he/she is seeing or dating or with someone. right? then again as some like to say "selagi alum kahwin..." is this statement rather dumb? or it is an actual statement? still to think of it, when we do actually like someone. we would just do anything... do we? or that would just be a empty statement.

Things we done whole our life. or yesterday... last week... last month... last year... last century... bad things as well as the good stuff. That depends on what your own definition of good and bad. think about it. gosh... i myself were to think of it... i'll laugh my ass off... serious... most people will agree on this... hahaa... best time of the life!!! hmmm.... really? or the best is just yet to come? Ladies and gentlemen, we think of this not everyday, but just when time comes... we do. all the stupid things we have done and all the best moments we have. the feeling of wanting to do it again is there. so yeah... why dont we just get up and do it!!! but seriously... think rationally laaah... is it worth it? is it ok to do it again?

Love is a huge word with a wide variety of definitions. You still love the first girl you ever love, the twist is you are with someone now. You love the girl who caught you heart and wanting to know her well, yet she is leaving soon. You love the girl you met somewhere, you are dating her now, then yeah... things happen, you and her/him starts thinking about it. or You love someone, but just never have the guts to say it to her. What do you about it? What decision will you make? THINK!!! and ACT IT!!! hahaa... you think of it but... will you actually do it? cause reasons such as rationality and dumbness comes in to place when you actually wanting to do it... really? or you are just scared of receiving a bad response from the things you have done... or things you want to do...

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." ~Albert Einstein

When we are rage in fire...

2008-10-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

"What...?? huh..? yeah yeah yeah... go.. just go..."

"Oh..? hahaa... Whatever...!!"

"Damn!!! *$%# You..!!!"

well... these are a tiny sentences people say when they are mad... extremely mad that is... and normally... well based on observation and surveys... when one individual is mad, they will only lay it all out to the one very close to him or her... WHY??? maybe... just maybe... this is because due to only one factor... this is only because of the other is a partner to another...? one is emotionally attached to the other... yes? no?

like the previous post... everything has a reason for it... reason to why it happen... this also applies to why people are mad... ahhaa... yes... well... i do think you know this already... but heys.. let me guess... when someone is mad at you... you'll fight back... right? no? ok... next time this happens... i mean when someone suddenly just "snap" at you... you just lay back and listen and most important!!! patience... then... when that person has run out of words or breathe... give them time to cool down... and ask... why are you feeling so mad...? maybe... he or she will tell you... well... if no... give them a bit more time until eventually... they will tell you the actual reason...

THERE WILL BE A REASON... ok... imagine a situation... you GF suddenly just say things... and from the sound of if she is really pissed... saying stuff... that...Huuuh... words that even pisses you off... hahaa.. yeah.. i bet this happen to A LOT OF PEOPLE... what did you guys do? throw her more heart breaking sentences...??? or just listen and do nothing?? or try to talk back nicely...?? OR... try to ask them why is your GF feeling so angry...?? from based on statistical views... this situation will happen when a lady is in her... you know... in her... you know... "period"... see... MAYBE... this is one of the reason... or Maybe... some thing happened to them... that really made them so MAD... and really pissed and REALLY wanting to let it all out... to who??? well... as being mentioned above... to someone who is emotionally attached to them... WHY??? well... basic reason is only one... "LOVE"...

patience is important is this situation... LADIES...!! this doesn't applies to men... BUT everyone in particular... guy can be mad... well... they would be thousands and thousand of reason why people would just be pissed and mad which makes them wanting to let it all out... so...? patience... there are reasons to why they feel that way... give them time... be there when they need you... chill... then talk... ask... BUT??? people... people... people... when we are MAD... please also be patience... don't just let it ALL out... sometimes... sometimes... we tend to do very unpredictable stuff when we are mad... right? ahha... remember... don't try to pamper that mad emotions... have time to think about it... Right? (Well... for a problem as "period", i dont know what to say about that... ehhee... :P)

You people have the say... You people judge...

A Random Mind...

2008-10-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

Endless things that has happen in our life and our surroundings... some happened to us... some happened to other people... some are things we accidently saw... and some are things that people talk to us... We learn from the grieve...(Ms.Shh told me that) thus it can makes us see a clearer view of the forth coming situation...

We learn from the things we done... we learn from mistakes... and try to avoid the same situation from happening again... people say... we make mistakes... we are human beings... but when we don't learn from mistakes that happen... then... it is worthless of our time to look for something good... this applies to everything... every single thing...

We sometimes tend to know more than other people... this is the mistakes that we have done... do we realize it...??? I don't think so... because... when we have the tendency to know more than other people... Egoism comes into place... there are different types of people in this would...

Correct me if i am wrong... but... i divide people into two... a Participant and an Observant... but...!!! there would be various types of an observant and this applies also to a participant... i won't try to explain more about it... but i bet everyone knows what this means...

sometimes... our mind just thinks on its own... have this happen to you...??? hahaa... but heys... it does happen... this would be the time when we always thought of the things we have done and why we did that... and what would actually happen if... hahaa... you did it... or you would not have done it....

When you already have a clearer view... and you know that you should do it... it is just worth it to do it... but... are you hoping for something or just do it without hopping for something...??? then you do it... what will happen after that...??? there are things that are always... hmm.... how should i say this... Stuck in the middle...???

hmm... keep on having this random thought... or... when the mind just think on its own... if we are lucky enough... we might find a solution... might...

Untitled Heart Of Him (Part 2)

2008-10-13T02:33:00.000-07:00

Just a normal girl... day to day life is just like other normal human being... nothing special... not that she ever saved someone's life nor she has ever done something special that the whole world would recognize... Neither do this girl owns a million dollar asset nor she ever won the Miss Universe Contest... She also doesn't have any super human strength or power... This girl never has done something in her life that would ever made her famous and ever made her appear in any local or international TV show... She is not a famous Hollywood actress or a famous singer that would always appear in MTV...

She is just a normal nice and decent girl... not that she is the most perfect girl in the world... not even she is the most nicest girl you ever meet in your entire life... just a normal life she live in... things happen in her life, made her who she is now... a strong girl... but not that she is the most strong girl in this world that not even a single tears would stream down her face... she can talk whenever it is need to talk... she listens whenever it is the best time to listen... she just knows what to reply to you in a way of how you wanted people to reply to you when you are down... well... she doesn't own a master in psychology... she is just an average person...

People look for the extra-ordinary... People want more and better than normal... but... have we realize of something that is normal...? Look into it... look into something that is normal... we might or maybe we will find something special in something that is normal... Look into the river... the river flows only in one way... it flows to the sea... most people would find that it just a river... some people will find something in the river... this where people go fishing... some who really look deep into the river will find gold, gems, diamonds and precious stones... The Heart all this while always find something different... something for the Heart is extra-ordinary... forgotten to look deeper in something that is normal...

Take a few steps backward... and have a clearer view....

The Reason(s)

2008-10-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

I want to be a millionaire... Because i want to have lots and lots of money....

I want to get the job at the organization... Because i improve my life...

I want to get two jobs at a time... Because I need to save extra money for my studies...

I want to be with you... Because i Love You so much...

I want to be a good person... so that everyone likes me now...

People say... everything happens in this world, happens for a reason. Is it? a far as we know it... all the thing that we have decided all this while is for a reason. the choices we made, the path and the will that we have choices is always because of a reason. Choosing... there is always a reason to choose. Then why do you have to choose the one you don't have a reason to choose? we always have more than two options... this and that... that and this... in some cases... one may have a reason and one doesn't. Isn't that clear enough for you to choose?

Ok... let think of a situation... a normal human being situation... a person who have to choose between two things or sometimes two person... a simple one... choosing a flavor of an ice-cream... you know you just love chocolate but there a more delicious flavor than chocolate to choose from... too simple? ok... put of a more complicated situation... to go for someone or not... you seem to like someone... every character of a dream person is there in that person... but... why don't you go for that person? well... barriers are there... but what if there isn't any? but heys... what if... it's only you who like that person but for that particular person? do you know he or she likes you? ok... what if that person you like is your good friend? or maybe your best friend? or yeah... maybe someone you just know? I bet for you... there are things that might stop you from going for that person... things that only you will keep for your self... right?

what can you do about it? to choose from a no reason and a reason...? or to choose from one reason and better than the other reason...? we know... sometimes... one reason can overcome the other... or... more than one reason has been overcome by one very strong reason... so that... you choose with a stronger reason... will you? people say... don't regret...! will you ever regret choosing the one with a better reason...?

I make this as short as i can... and as simple as possible... because... i bet everyone knows this... Well... this is what Mr.R and Ms.Shhh talk about last time they had a conversation... everyone knows that everything happens for a reason... and things we decide... well... most of us realize tho... that... things we decide... there's always a reason(s) for it... no matter one is better from the other... and no matter one have a reason and one doesn't... the only point to be make here is... whatever people will say... what ever reason it is... at the end of the day... it is only going to be you!!! but think wisely... things we decide doesn't always going to be just YOU!!! why...? in a way or another... it involve more than what you think... but heys... if you made a mistake of the things you decide... LEARN from it... we are just human being... a legit soul as i may say it... mistakes happen... why? there's always a reason for everything...

Life is simple is you make it simple... Life is complicated if you make it complicated...

Go for Good than Grieve... or is it the other way around???

2008-10-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

At first when we saw someone so beautiful... the feelings of like starts to emerge... get to know that person a bit more... the feelings of adore starts to emerge... and in the end... love... "You are everything to me"... "I'm not a perfect person, but i will try my best to make you happy"... "You are a part of my life"... "You will be the only one for me, I promise"... "I want to be with you for the rest of my life"... "I Love You... So Much"... these are some sentences we use... (klw ada yg tertinggal... tulung lah isi2 sja ah) These quotes we use to show how we feel for that particular person...

Everything just seems so sweet.... so sweet...

It always started off so sweet... Then what?

I ask a friend of mine, Mr.A. "how do you keep the hotness?" guess what did he replied to me... "Dude, if you know the answer for that question, please do tell me!" Things started to happen... things get terrible... worst... yada yada yada... THINK!!! You say all those quotes before... why stop? why don't you just, like what people always say, "Walk the Walk rather than just Talk the Talk!" where's the trust? Where goes the so-called "compromise".

The moment when you like that person. OOOOoooh gosh...!!! it seems like your day is not complete if you don't see or talk or even chat with that person... Do correct me what i just say is a lie... You talk about that person every single moment... You just sometimes even imagine that you are with that person...

Adore... damn damn damn... Sometimes you can just do anything to get her attention... You could even spend all your day sitting infront of the computer to wait for that person to go online... you could from on end of Brunei to the other end just to see that person... You could just spend time with that rather than doing the usual things you always do... now Love... need I say more about what you will do when you are in Love...??? I think you guys know better...

But then what actually has happen? things you said "What ever happen, I will always love you" Do we actually do it? Do we actually do what we say? Do we do all the things we actually promise??? Why? things are just really worst? things are just not beyond our control? or yeah... maybe things are just meant to be???

Then... when everything has ended... we think back of Every single sweet memories we had with that person... Too late maybe??? I don't know... or should i say this in malay... "Bangang!"... i don't know... what actually? You have that person you love so much just beside you... the love you use to put it into simple words to that person... now... everything has gone... you seem to make a lost... or yeah... some would say... "@#*!... how stupid am i" and as far you know it... you can't do anything about it...

"Take a few steps backward... and see a clearer view..." Meaning? oh Reeve... what do you mean by this...??? i ask a friend, Mr.C, a question. "Why we always go for someone we actually just met rather than the person who we know better? Why?" OK... Imagine this... a situation... Where you are in love with someone you newly meet for maybe a few weeks... you got into a relation... then... things doesn't go well... break-up happens... You tend to think... gosh... What actually just happen? why did i go for her before? We just know each other only that much... but... we were already in a relationship... why? why didn't i go for someone i knew well enough... But... then again... if i go for someone i know well... i don't know how is that person going to be the same person during the relationship...

Honestly... this would be a never ending story though... why? is it just because we are just human being... and mistakes happen??? Things just happen??? hahaa... funny and stupid reasons yeah...

You People Judge... You people have the words here...

2008-10-05T08:28:00.001-07:00

I see you standing here

But you're so far away
Starving for your attention
You don't even know my name

You're going through so much
But I know that I could be the one to hold you

[Chorus:]
Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold
I see you walking by
Your hair always hiding your face
I wonder why you've been hurting
I wish I had some way to say

You're going through so much
Don't you know that I will be the one to hold you

[Bridge:]
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
You should know
I'm ready when you're ready for me
And I'm waiting for the right time
For the day I catch your eye
To let you know
That I'm yours to hold

[Altro:]
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
I'm ready when you're ready for me

Why i post this song? it is how i feel...

Untitled Heart of Him

2008-10-01T00:50:00.000-07:00

A smile that could never be forgotten. Every inch of her cheek... Her eyes... it seems like god has sent the Angel and landed on her eyes. The sparks of her eyes, the same feeling like when looking at a shooting star. The gorgeous brownish-hazel eyes. Her beautiful face resembles her behavior, her character and her attitude. She is so nice... very nice... maybe thats what made a feeling towards her.

"Go for someone who do you good than grieve". None that can be recalled that she ever did bad to the heart. Was always nice and still very pleasant to talk with. She was the one who understands and she knows every part where the road was really bumpy. She listens... Her words calms the heart as she speaks what is wanted to be heard. Honesty...

What did she do? can't really put it into words but there are reasons... maybe some are as above... a bit that will only be kept inside a fragile soul... a secret sworn till time ends thus paths shall never collide. Shall the path collide... then risk are worth to be taken... because she... was the actual reason to be awake when dawn has open it's curtains...

but when... her heart shall never open... then this oath will be kept... let what the feeling wants only be what it wants not what it gets... to see... and to adore... yet to be close... maybe shall be more than enough then what the heart desires... too scared to say... too innocent to be told... but still receiving that dream-able smile...

Four Clover Leaf... I know it is somewhere beyond the bushes... maybe i should take a step a few step backward... to really see what the future holds...

(Sorry readers.. this maybe really really different from previous posts, but... yeah... just have a good read... ;P)

Stupidity... Yes and No...

2008-09-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

We do something... we only will know that it is a stupid idea... until we do it then we realize that it is stupid. but, sometimes, we already know that it is a stupid thing to do... yet... we do it. A reaction or behavior that is being derived by emotions and feelings. the mind just really doesn't work at this particular situation then the momentum of our emotions and feelings makes us do stupid things. Too late to realize it, or you just know it is stupid yet you do it... it doesn't really matter...

Too late to realize...

A guy heavily falls in love with girl. Which in fact that the girl is... maybe someone else's girlfriend or fiance etc. With that confusion of emotions that the guy is experiencing. He tells the girl that He loves her... then he realize. "Gosh..?! what am i doing? She belongs to someone else. How stupid am i?".

A man. who is in deep debt. He owes someone a huge amount of money. The person who he owes turns to be a bad guy and tend to threaten him. This man, really feels scared and stuff... what will he do? He then becomes more stress thinking of where to get the money... which eventually he turns to do something stupid...

A student... who is really stress of studying. feels like he can't cope up with his studies. Furthermore, he has a relationship problems. His family just seems to pressure him with his studies. Stress right? what will he do?

You know it is Stupid... yet you do it...

You are in love with you good friend. You know that it is a stupid idea to tell your good friend that you are deeply in love with him or her. You know that it is stupid because of maybe things that happen before to you that she or he really knows. but... heys... lets just try the luck. Is it all about trying the "luck". or... of all the relationship you had. your eyes just opened and realize that... you are actually in love with her or him... which in the end, you want to tell her or him... that of all this... of everything that ever happen in your life... after all the stupid things that you do... you were actually lying to yourself and the truth is... you are in love with your good friend... (macam cerita "Made of Honor" waaah!!!)

Up to all of you readers to define stupidity or to define all of the stories above... people say this. people say that. people advise us what to do and what we should not do. yet again... the decision is really up to us. yes, people's advise helps us to decide... maybe what? a lil tiny itsi-bitsi bit...!? things we may assume that is ok, turns to be a very stupid thing to do. We learn from it. We know that it was a stupid idea to do what we have just did and we learn from it. Well... some people dont't. Things we know that is stupid, but we still want to do it. Is it really stupid? or like what i have just mentioned... just really wanting to do it and lets just see what is going to happen. right boys and girls? this is true... don't deny it. Because we all have done it... heys... simple example... you tend to like someone who you just saw at a cafe or something. you approach that person and just waiting whether it's going to be a good reply or the other way around... right? Isn't just the same as people go gambling yet he or she doesn't really know how to play the game... so you'll learn during the process and just follow the flow~~~

What actually is a good decision? What actually is a bad decision? and what actually is the reason for deciding? lastly... What actually is the influence for us to decide? When you see a painting on the wall. Will you move forward towards the picture to actually know what the picture is all about? or you'll take a few steps backward to have a clear and wide view? Look into the situation you want to approach. If you concentrate too much at it, you'll go blur and just follow your emotions and feelings, you'll only have a one clear perspective... try and keep on trying to have a full view of that particular situation you are experiencing. Move a few steps backward... We stand on the ground... the solid ground and we tend to say things... to do things... Go fly above and see the ground from up high in the skies... the beautiful view... the extraordinary scenery... your mind is open... then think... Maybe stupidity is actually ok... MAYBE...

Mind is the greatest asset... Love is a beautiful feeling... Life depends on individual's definition...

let take a break off a serious talk.. and lets put a smile on that face... hehee... enjoy the video...

2008-09-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes... Just Sometimes...

2008-09-25T07:07:00.000-07:00

Things happen in life... in love... in everything that we do every single day we live our life... some are complicated... yes... and when it is complicated, it is really complicated... and some times... not always... it is just simple problems...

hey... people say life is simple. its just complicated WHEN you say its complicated. "Where there's a will, there's a way" this is what people say... it is really true? or maybe people just deny it that its actually simple. or maybe just sometime, people just want to ignore it? AND... sometimes... we just wait for a miracle to happen? heys... miracle? a single mom... doing two jobs at a time, and still have time to watch her son's soccer practice. now thats a miracle. We hope for other people to do something, yet we don't do anything... in the end... things gets more complicated. we are stuck in between... just cant do anything to redeem the situation. why? because we are being so EGO that we believe that it's not our problem, when actually it is? yes... although someone else started it. but yet, it's our problem coz why? because we are in it. open you eyes, open your heart. I did forgive someone of what that particular person did to me. because... one particular person told me this. the best thing about life is not actually LOVE... but FORGIVENESS... one other particular person told me... Forgive someone before it's too late... because we don't want to leave this world with that kind of sin... plus... even GOD forgive His creations... and us..? a fragile human beings... fragile...

maybe because of our fragility... thats where stuff happen in our life. we can't avoid it. Some people... i salute... they learn from mistakes and things that happen in their life. it made them who they are now... it made them strong. we should learn of these people. one particular person in my life. that person have a really unpleasant experience of that person's father, but yet... that person i know... i salute that person... why... because for me... that person is really a strong person... and that person is Unique... and that person is really something.... we should learn from our surroundings. things that we actually heard everyday from everyone. do we? we listen to radios... we watch stuff happen in TVs... do we actually learn from it? Movies... yes... life maybe not as what is the movie? but one person ever told me this... Movies are taken from real life... although not as 100% same... still... we can apply to it...

Hear this... i meant read this... because it actually happen to me... and i bet it has happen to everyone... everything that happen in our life... there is a solution... always and will... when we think that it's already at the end of the string... we just dont know where to put the whole roll... right? this happen to us... but heys... eventually... we will manage to put everything away... and we can continue the journey of life... with what has happen to us... we can strive through the journey of the broken road.

maybe i would like to share this with everyone...

"the broken road,

journey of the broken road,

Dreams, hopes and wishes lies in between,

yet...

An Angel lies at the end of the broken road"

You People Judge... you people have the words here....

Two Brothers having a normal conversation... but?

2008-09-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

ok... lets put one person as C and one person as R...

one fine night, two brothers went out to buy some foods. In the car, a conversation starts... of course about girls. see, these two brothers are actually not biological brothers. but, their history goes beyond what even a good friend is defined. way beyond even a biological brother is defined. yes... both have different personality, different perception... but... there they are having a good conversation about girls... girls they used to and still know....

C goes, ok let me ask you something. of all the girls you ever met in your entire life. whose the one for you who is really really damn Da Bomb. neglecting their personality and all that. R took the time of his life then decided that they have to "Be Chos"(melayu ni ah!) to determine whose answer that question first. minutes pass by, C lose, C answer his own question first. well he did also took the time of his life to answer, and eventually he did. He mentioned someone to R. R anyways, was a bit blur thinking of who he ever met in his that for him is really really Sweet, Beautiful, Gorgeous and all that. He mentioned to C, "well, i don't know why tho. when you ask me that question, just one person suddenly pops out of my mind. tried to find someone else, but i just cant." C when " Uhuh... so who is it?" R was really mumbling, then he mentioned to C who for him that was really really DA BOMB.

Next question, ok... R ask.... Who was in your life, who you really like and love... but you never got the chance to tell her. even if you got the chance, but you were like afraid and feels that you are not wort it for her. eventually you ended up not telling her...

C when... hmmm... he was really pushing my mind to the limit to find someone, then, "No, no one... i never did that before" Ok fine... BUT... C mentioned something that it would probably be the same person.(as mentioned in the above Question). R? hmm... he straight away mention a name. for R, he mentioned a name.(For R, it was not the same name as the 1st question.)

Next Question...

Who is the girl.. that is for you.. really really nice... and special... and very nice... nicee.. nice.. who for you... he is very different...

C without hesitation, mentioned a name...(Not the same person as Q1 and Q2)

R too mentioned a name...(eventually for him, it was the same person as Q1)

"ok... you and me are different wah... when we meet someone new... although already being introduce... but still i wont just go and chit chat with that particular person... you have many friends... for You... you can just talk and connect to anyone... nda? eh.. ehh.. nda.. eh nda?? "

"ok.... i have to agree on that... but... heys... yes... we are different.. BUT... we have the same thing... we have a few what i like to call A really good friend. and this friend we have are different... these good friend are the ones we turn to... yeah.. i have lots of friends... But... just friends... yes... most are nice... but... you... me... our good friends... these we have in common..."

"True... and i agree"

R then did tried to ask whose the girl they HATE the most... but then... he already know C's answer... ahhaa.. Funny... same girl they were talking about... Booo yaa...

both then goes on with talking about girls... for R... he then all of a sudden... thought of on particular person... we don't know about C tho... but R... this girl just kept on playing in his mind until this very moment. feeling guilty.. feeling sorry for himself. don't really know why tho. maybe... just maybe... what has happen to him lately... what has happen to him for last few months just made R how he used to feel about a particular person. BUT.... R knows... that is would be a NOT good idea to return back to history. what has done is done. sorry for him then of being so stupid and was being so ignorant not knowing whose to keep and whose to hold. it all R's fault... getting back how he felt. yes maybe he can... but doing it? maybe not... because now it may be a stupid idea. well, as the author of this story, that girl R is thinking... maybe R just have to hold it. like forever. come one... don't be that blunt... respect others... yes... you do... but... emotions...? i have mentioned this in my previous article... don't make a move just based on your emotions. Maybe... Maybe... if she can open her heart for you? thats a different story... for you... just hold that feeling... yes... Hold it... for C... nice... nice... nice conversation you hade with R...

People.... If this is actually a true story... please don't ask who is who... and whose name who is who mentioned... Aite.. you guys Mad???

then...

You People have the word here... You people Judge...

Wanting to love and to be Loved...

2008-09-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

3000 years ago, in a small village. There was a young "Father" ( those who work in a church). Who always give preaches every Sunday to everyone in the village. He was still at his mid 20s. The villagers like him so much as he was really nice to everyone. Then one day, come a young lady to the village. She was really gorgeous, and was really nice to everyone but no one... no one knew where she came from. As she was really nice to everyone, all the villagers like her. The young preach, was really falling in love with that girl.

One day, that girl died of no reason. The villagers found her in her body in a little cottage where she lived. The body was really clean and had really a nice smell. The day of her funeral... all of a sudden, a flocks of white Pigeon flew in circle on top of her body. Little white feathers falling down like snow. The young Father who was in deeply in love with her then said to the villagers that God made one creature, made from white light. The most beautiful creature God have ever made, an Angel... a beautiful Angel. Made with pure love, sincerity and Humbleness...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

yes... things happen in life and in your love relationship. Arguments and disagreements are always there. but to think of it, you love your partner so much with your life and soul. Love can make you run bare footed all the way from one end of the world to the other end. Please... cherish your partner. Remember the things you guys always do together. remember the love the memories you guys ever felt. Remember? nice right? the feeling of love... it feels complete. complete. to those who are really feeling lonely now. maybe because you don't have anyone to love, or those in a relationship who was just in a fight with your partner. PICK up your phone now!!! call you partner now!!! and tell Him or Her how much you miss him or her. tell them how much actually you miss them. Despite whose fault is it, be lenient, be honest and be sincere. tell them how much you love your partner.

Do it now... You don't want to regret later on of being too late. because once it is too late, you may will loose them forever. Do you want that. The feelings of being really complete, the feelings of being really happy, do you want to risk these feelings??? Everyone in the worlds right now... every single individual.... wants love and want to be loved. I bet my life on it... Everyone does.

A so called "player".... yes they go with lots of partner, but i do know that once in their life, they know that one day, they will realize what they have done and on that day they will remember the one that they used to love with all their heart. things that they just do anything for that particular partner. An individual, who is always busy with work or maybe Unis, Schools.... I bet... I bet... when there are alone... they feel lonely, and really wanting to find someone to love.... will really miss that someone they used to love. and maybe... will call them up... ahhaa... Come on guys and girls... think? but don't decide without thinking. Call up that person you love. and tell them how much you love them. Who knows.. who knows... maybe you are in luck... and if there isn't... maybe after you have don't much that you think is enough... then... for the sake of love... maybe being apart is the best thing... Sacrifices is a primary thing in Pure Love...

Well for those who are in a relationship... remember... would you want to loose them? to loose the one you really love. to loose the one who have done much enough to show how much they feel for you... maybe you don't realize... sit back... and remember the things they have done... the sacrifices you guys made for each other... tell each other how much you love guys each other... before it is too late... and i bet... you don't want that to happen...

cherish it... cherish it... cherish it...

*this is just a piece of mind from someone who used to feel how much it is to love and to be loved... someone who doesn't have anyone to love yet...*

please guys...

You people have the words... you people judge...

A Piece of Mind is a craving for ideas....

2008-09-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

We are effected by emotions. how we think depends of our emotions are at that moment. How we perceive others depends on how our emotions are at the moment. how we treat others also depends on how our emotions are at that moment. Do you realize this??? Maybe some thus, but they don't realize it till it has already happen.

we just arrive school, a bit late. but the lecture was really mad at us for being late. Next Lecture, a different teacher just simply ask you a question, well... you just seem don't bother to answer then the lecture is mad at you. A working individual, just been shouted by his bos because he forgotten to pass the report yesterday, then... today... everything just seems to bother him. even when making a cup of coffee, the coffee will not taste that good. why? why? why? why when we are so grumpy in the morning, it'l affect us the whole day. like everything around us just seems wrong. but, when we feel so energetic that particular morning, we believe that it'll be amongst the best days in our life. BUT... gosh... we forget to fill up the tank, thus, have to line up a long queue... gnarly traffic.... eventually late for work... What actually went wrong? back to our emotions here. gosh... is this really happen, i bet we'll go crazy and so annoyed with everything around us... right?

Emotions... Emotions... Emotions...

we look at a beautiful girl sitting far at the other end of the class. gosh. gorgeous, we fell in love... is it? or its our emotion that affects us? it is? is it? you talk to a girl... having a really good conversation. laughing all way... you feel that a connection is there... is it? or is it just us? same goes to a girl, when a really good looking guy just approach her, gosh... i bet you girls know better how it feels right? ahhaa... do we really know it? of what we felt? some... may wanted to know what that feeling is.... either by just bluntly asking the other partner whether he or she likes the other one. Or one may just follow the flow of what will happen between both individuals. but have we realize it that our decision affects others? all this maybe because of what i mention in my previous article... "satisfying Satisfaction" one more thing... how about temptation???

Me and Kimin had this conversation last Saturday night in the car when we were heading our way to watch Manchester United Vs Liverpool.(DONT wana talk about this!!). He read my blog. and he agreed on it, but he added more. Temptation!!! ok... i agreed... Why do we want to satisfy our satisfaction at first? because of temptation. and actually temptation is dangerous. if we just follow our emotion and being seduced by the temptation, we will lose. why we lose? coz what we have decided there, at that moment, we will affect others? do we realise this? oh sorry... do we even care about this? what our decision is going to affect others??? but do we actually know what we have decided is good or bad? no right? why? Coz we followed our emotions... we were seduced by temptations... Do we think about it? do we? oh please tell me now.... Do WE!?

You people have the words here... YOU people judge...!!!

Why can’t we get enough out of something?

2008-09-12T00:45:00.001-07:00

“Satisfaction”. The primary word of this article. In the dictionary, “satisfaction” means ‘the fulfillment of one’s wishes, or expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this’.

The purest human emotion we have, we experience and what we need. To put it in a simplest form, what we want and what can satisfies our needs. This actually depends on one or many particular situations. Remember when you are stuck in a gnarly traffic jam early morning? You needs at that moment maybe just wanting to arrive at your destination on time. And when you arrive on time, you are satisfied. Really? Are you? You arrive at your office on time, but found out that no one is there yet. Well if you are satisfied, good for you…

Now… the needs to satisfy our satisfaction! Ever heard of this? No? Yes?

This now becoming a normal human behavior that is always not, what us muslim like to say, “Bersyukur dengan apa yang ada”. It means that some people will never be satisfied on what they already possessed, what they already have. Some people, yes, some people, not everyone and not even most. But, one particular minority can destroy the whole society. It is because of greediness? Or we just want more, or maybe because we are always not satisfied out of something we already have. Why? Why? Why?

I don’t have any answers on that. I don’t even know why people are like that. Nonetheless, sometimes I am like that. I wont deny it, and you guys should too. BUT… don’t use our greediness, in a way that others will be affected, others will suffer, and others will hate what we do. We are greedy of money, we sell more of out stuff. We do more than one job. This is fine.

Not satisfied of our feelings? Aaaaaah… the topic that maybe most of us are aware of it. Right? Well if I am wrong, I stand to be corrected. Why are we not always satisfied of how we always feel? Why are we always not sure of what we want? Why do we just want more till we are not aware that people are affected by us? Do we care?

Its true then… People are just people, we tend to make mistake(s). Huh… than we should just use this statement to do more mistake(s)?

You People have the words here…. You People Judge….

One Day… One Thought…

2008-09-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

I went out early today from home. My sister over slept, so she didn’t go to school. Like I said, I went out early today, I made a move around 6.30am and I don’t know why, I head towards the beach before going to ITB. I first arrive, the sea struck my early morning imagination (dhuuuuuh..!! come on guys, don’t tell me you guys don’t just wonder off early morning even when you guys are driving!! Right?). Again, as always, the views of the wide-open sea just always manage to make me stunned every time I look at it.

I don’t know why… Love…

I just remember how it used to feel. The feeling every human being been leaning to feel, the lust every soul wanting to find. The feeling of love, a perfect emotion of being really sad and being really wanting to explode of happiness (Nda ja Doze? Ahhaa). Yeah… you guys and girls know how love feels right. The pure love, especially when the feeling of two souls just at their early stages. Remember guys? Remember girls? I bet you guys remember this…

Then… things start to happen during the relationship. Some are unavoidable and some are just an excuse. Why? Why? And why? Eventually… we are just human beings. Mistakes and emotions are a part of us. Our heart is fragile, very fragile. For example, we may love eating a particular food at a certain moment but just dislike it at a different moment. Tell me… is this true? Our heart? We can change feelings at just a fraction f a second but it can be back to normal depending to time, people do say time heals everything, well that depends on the circumstances. A change of hearts… an unavoidable situations? All this is just a challenge.

A story I heard where a guy with a retarded girlfriend, in which the family didn’t approve. A friend told me, her girlfriend just has the change of heart at only a fraction of a second. There is also a friend of mine where his relationship just seems to be dull and all the feelings seems to fade away between both of them. To think about it ourselves, we have heard lots and lots of stories happening all around us.

Are we aware of it? Yes we are actually… but do we learn from people’s mistakes, moreover, do we even learn from our own mistakes? Love is perfect… a perfect emotions that everyone should feel. But please… don’t spoil the true meaning of true love… lots of people are going to hurt….

I know…. I know… by typing this here on my blog, people would say… “what? Try to be humble?!”

(Well... right after thinking all this... I then made a move ready for ITB....)

You people have the say… you people judge…

Have A Read... It'll Open Our Eyes... ( Based On A True Story)

2008-09-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

Through A Child's Eyes
"Reflections On Birth And Death"

By Elizabeth Feldman, MD

When our daughter Hannah was not quite three years old, she participated in the birth of her younger sister, Leah, in our bedroom, the same room into which she had been born. She gently placed washcloths on my head, helped bring up the bassinet from the basement, spent time in the kitchen with her Aunt Julie baking a cake for the baby and held Leah within minutes after she was born. When Hannah was almost five, she was present during the final days and the death of her grandfather, in the den, which became his room during his dying days. She put a washcloth on his head, helped to smooth his sheets, brought her crayons in and colored pictures sitting by his side and touched his body after he died.

My daughter now carries with her an intimate, visceral familiarity with the ebb and flow of the processes of birth and death.

Hannah is now ten years old, and her reminiscences about these events are neither profound nor startling; they are, in fact, entirely ordinary. She remembers the strawberries on the cake, and how Julie had to come upstairs and ask me where the flour was, in the middle of the noisy, hard contractions. She remembers how she ran to get her favorite doll right after Leah came out, and how Doctor Fred pretended to tie off her doll's umbilical cord just as he had done to Leah's. She saw the baby go directly into my arms for nursing at the breast.

And she remembers how we were building our sukkah, the temporary shelter for the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, just outside the window of Grandpa Albert's room, and how pale and sleepy he was. She perhaps recalls that my dad, who hadn't been eating at the nursing home, eagerly polished off a bowl of my mother-in-law's chicken soup with matza balls on that Friday night we first brought him home, and how he roused from his drowsy state to join us in the Hebrew blessing over thechallah to mark what would be his last Sabbath. She observed me sitting at my father's side, holding his hand, humming a song while I nursed a sleepy toddler.

Birth And Death: A Normal Part Of Life

Hannah's memories are of events that seemed to her to be a normal part of our family's life and she found nothing unusual about them. But of course, in modern American culture, it is not usual for a child to be so close to birth and death, to experience them so intimately. These days, birth and death are more often experienced at a distance, removed from the confines of people's homes and placed within the sterile walls of a hospital. Or they are not experienced at all, but simply occur elsewhere while children and other family members wait at home. What might otherwise be formative events in children's lives are lost, and the adults that these children become are unable to draw on these memories.

We physicians have contributed, perhaps unwittingly, to the depersonalization of these deeply personal and primal moments. I see so many adults who bear the wounds of having been taken away from intense emotional family events, under the guise of being protected or sheltered from grief. What they tell me is that having been left out, not having had their questions answered or guilty feelings addressed, leaves wounds that have not and may never fully heal.

My daughter now carries with her an intimate, visceral familiarity with the ebb and flow of the birth and death processes. During my dad's last days, Hannah asked how we would know that he was dead, since he appeared to be sleeping so much of the time anyway. On the day he died, when she came back from nursery school she asked to go into the room and see his body. For all of our talk of souls or spirits going to be with God, I think she was the most interested in seeing how we could tell he was really dead. Although cautious, she did not appear unduly frightened as she reached out and touched his arm, looking closely at his face in order to truly know that he was no longer breathing.

In a similar way, from the safety of her daddy's arms she pointed to the crowning, emerging head of her little sister as I grunted and moaned, commenting matter-of-factly, "That's the baby's head." Later that day she drew a picture of a baby with what looked like shoes near the bottom. When questioned about the shoes she replied, with a trace of disdain at the adult who had missed the obvious, "That's not a shoe, that's the placenta. And over here is the umbilical cord."

For my daughter, birth seems to have been perceived as an emotionally intense, special event; the painful moments appeared normal, not frightening or insurmountable. Death, while similarly intense and profoundly sad for all of us, was neither scary nor mysterious. Hannah will recall that during both times there were many friends and family who were there to support us; the community members who brought us food and who provided a circle of birthing support and energy, my brother and sister-in-law who maintained the vigil at my dad's bedside, my dad's brother and sister who came to say goodbye, and all the close family suspending their outside obligations during both events in order to be present in our home. Hannah will remember how, during the first breaths of a new life and the last breaths of a dying father, we were surrounded in our home by love, by support, by caring.

I can draw no definite conclusions about the impact of these experiences on Hannah's psyche or her own future life choices. It is certainly possible that sometime during adolescence she will view any of this body stuff, especially the birthing details, as "totally gross, eeeww, yucky." The inevitable rebellion against her "hippie" parents could even lead her to a highly technical, hospital birth, perhaps with epidural anesthesia, or with formula feeding to follow! But it is my hope that somewhere in the recesses of her consciousness she will forever understand the very ordinariness of birth and death, trusting the process itself. At the same time, she will hopefully hold and cherish the spectacular and special qualities of these experiences.

Entering And Leaving Life With Loved Ones Present

As a family physician, I feel that the next generation needs many more people who will feel safe and comfortable accompanying a friend or relative through the challenges of childbirth, relying on professionals to safeguard the woman and baby but not interfere with the integrity of the process. Similarly, people all over are beginning to cry out for those who will accompany them or their loved ones "through the valley of the shadow of death," once again trusting the process, offering comfort and palliation without undue interference. It is my hope that Hannah's experiences in our home will enable her to become this kind of person.

I believe that other children, and other families, can benefit from these kinds of experiences. For while there are certainly many situations in which home birth or home death would not be appropriate, they are potentially empowering for individuals, family, friends, and community. As such they should be offered as options, with health care professionals supporting and safeguarding them. And we should support other options that enable families to be more intimately involved in the birth and death process, such as alternative birthing centers and hospice programs, as well as changes in hospital routines that might make possible further inclusion of family members in these pivotal moments.

For our family, these experiences of home birth and home death have offered us a sense of wholeness, of life coming full circle, of safety and love within the walls of our dwelling. My younger daughter, Leah, while not being able to recall the events directly (certainly not her very own birth!) clearly knows the family lore, sees the pictures and watches the videotapes of her first moments, and even views the footage which includes my ailing father at home with us. Hannah has been present at and remembers these moments.

My husband and I made the choice to have our babies at home and bring my father home to die, and I know that we will feel comfortable supporting other family members in making these kinds of choices, helping them to give birth at home and to live out their last days at home, if they choose to do so.

And I hope that I, just as when giving birth, will be able to die surrounded by friends and family taking care of me in my own home, giving myself over to and trusting the ongoing flow of the tide.

By Toby Klein Greenwald
Director, WholeFamily Room

"I am willing to put myself through anything: temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only path to the unknown is through breaking barriers, an often-painful process."

Diana Nyad

"Every person has a story.

Every family has a story.

And every person and family have their own personal challenges."

One Day Everyone. One Day Alone...

2008-09-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

Every single day... we are with our friends... our family... our colleague... anyone at all. Having a good time. Having a blast. Laughing all moment. Lots and lots of conversation. Having a drink at the shop. Those all guys going out... having a really good time looking at girls... and vice versa. Those just chilling with the family at the kitchen having a meal. Love it right. Like thats the time you can talk about almost anything. Jokes again and again... stupid jokes if we remember it now. but awesome right? a bit lame. but gosh we laugh our ass off... These are the moment we cherish. And that are the moment we will remember.

Love? yeah... Love is always there in the air. We see it all over us. Couples holding hands. Laughing and loving each other by the minute. Staring at each others eyes as if there is no tomorrow. Sitting at the beach. Witnessing the sun raise and sets everyday. Oh yeah... Driving anywhere and everywhere just spending time together. Loving each other by the minute again... Aaah... I still remember that moment... just feeling like there is just nothing at all you can think about...

We remember this and when we are feeling it now, Right? all the happy moments we have. Have you ever tried this? remembering all the happy moment you have? well... I bet you all out there are thinking of it right now as you guys are reading this don't you? thats nice...

Now... i bet there are the times when we are alone... and at that particular moment. we tend to think...

How alone we are actually... Really got no one to talk to as everyone is just busy with other stuff...

We tend to think... All what we have done. Is it good? worth it? something to be proud of? We done something bad in our life... oh? who doesn't? we are just human being. Our shield from being hurt or getting hurt is just skin deep. Our mind? our greatest asset... but yet... do we have the mindset? Honestly... Do we.. YOU have it? don't think we are always right about everything. because everything have lots of things.. get what i mean? Imagine this...

What would you think of a girl whose eyes are crossed, a big scar on her face and limped...?

What would you think of hmmm.... lets just say those who are in the Beauty Pageant...?

Yeah out of topic right? but without realizing it... This is what sometimes we think when we are alone... just wondering whatever it is in our mind... or thinking of something really hmmhm... i could not find the word... thinking of life i guess...? I don't know...

You People have The Words Here.... You People Judge....

You people have the words... You people Judge....

I'll start talking...

2008-09-04T21:16:00.000-07:00

The past weeks open my eyes... it all started when i was at the airport sending my mom last week. Waited for her flight about 2 hours. For the first time in my life. My mum thought me a lesson about life. Of we should see the world, We should open our eyes and not only to stick with one perception because life itself, contains life within...

Firstly... we saw a guy... a chinese looking around his mid 20s. He saw a kid right neat to him and the little girl was staring at him. Without even bothering people around him, that guy suddenly was jumping his heart out in-front of the little girl. I think he was hoping that the little girl would join him and have a blast laughing together. To me... maybe he was friendly and love kids a lot... My mum said to me "Try to look at that guy. His jumping here and there without even bothering what people think. Imagine us, we would behave ourself and always think what people will say. And this restrict us from almost everything in life." then i said something "True... true... well imagine this... to us he is weird doing that right here. What if we are at his place. Maybe at another Airport somewhere in the world where people are running here and there, busy trying to catch a flight or something. And here we are... Sitting quietly looking at people... I do think we will look weird to everyone."

Secondly... when that chinese dude went away. Came a group of Thailand girls sitting right in-front us me and my mum. There were 6 of them, of age maybe around 20 - 25 year old. They were talking and really laughing their ass off. (one of them was really eye-popping. hahaaa...) but one of them really kept quiet and her eyes was looking all around. Maybe for me, she was conscious of her surroundings. Well, all her friends was laughing and the airport was really empty that moment. My mum goes again "Look at this now... Don't think that most of them are laughing and all of them are the same. All may laugh, one or two may just laugh out loud but one may aware of her surroundings. Us to judge people from only one view is wrong. If you have the chance. get to know them, then you judge if you can. (Well, when my mum said this... i do wish to "kacau" that eye=popping one. ahhaaa.... ;p) I was silence for a few moment.

Then it just pop up... "Mum I want to go to KL on January. Go to Langkawi and enjoy myself and meet people."

Without hesitation she replied me "You go...! See the world. I will arrange the ticket if you want"

WoooooW....!!!

Malaysia here i come!!!

That is not actually the point of my story...

but, as some of us are aware... but unfortunately some don't...

What will you say to someone sitting at the far end of the room alone and he/she just looking at other people, and when people look at him/her, she/he act as if they don't care AND what will you say to someone in a group, the centre of attraction, laughing together in a particular place???

You people have the words here... You people judge...